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Tapir FAQ
Three species of tapir are found in South America and one in Southeast Asia; all are endangered. The tapir is an omnivore weighing up to 600 pounds and is most closely related to horses and rhinocerii (as you can tell by counting its 14 toes), though at first glance it more closely resembles a pig. Tapirs were featured in Stanley Kubrick's film 2001. This was all wrong, since the scene was set in Africa, where tapirs have never lived -- but they looked great in the movie. (Hyenas, as we know, were likewise slandered in the movie the Lion King. Hollywood has a lot to learn about trans-specific sensitivity).
What's the best internet source of information on tapirs? From The Tapir Gallery: "In the literature, tapirs have been called "stupid," "clumsy" and "awkward," none of which are true. A domesticated tapir may not come when you call its name and it won't walk on a leash, but it's far from being stupid. It may appear to be ungainly, yet it can turn on a dime, out-maneuver a Weimaraner while playing "tag," can figure out how to open a standard round doorknob, drink water from a Coke bottle, nibble carefully from a fork, and learn to recognize the sound of one car engine over another. With its keen sense of smell, a tapir can pick up the scent of a lettuce leaf yards away. And speaking of lettuce, the closest I can come to describing the smell of a tapir is to say it smells like a crate of lettuce!" I was really looking for a less reliable source. Are there very many tapir web pages? How do you resuscitate a newborn tapir? How do I anesthesize my tapir? What TV programs will my baby tapir enjoy? What's this stuff about a marsupial tapir? Do some people identify with tapirs? Is machine translation of German websites about tapirs possible? Didn't you give up too quickly? "The small Jinak (in the meantime supplied by the zoo people with Fohlenmilch, rolled oats, fruit and vegetable was affectionate) was for his part simply only hingerissen to have so a kind aunt with itself. And although Aria did not find Jinak mad after their bad experiences with Tapirmaennern also first, it could nevertheless einlullen it with its childlike enthusiasm then. It is with persistent enthusiasm to it coagulated evenly so long, until it could not erwehren itself its love any longer and wanted." Note: this site is reputed to include an actual tapir webcam. It has seldom worked for me. Why is "tapir" a key word on many pornographic web sites?
How can I contact the Tapir Preservation Fund?
I am emersonj at gmail dot com. Original materials copyright John J Emerson Return to Idiocentrism jjmrsnx
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